I had a missed call on my cell phone so I returned the call and the man (one of our church leaders) said with a laugh, “I really liked that voice mail on your phone.” I said, “What voicemail?” He was quiet and then I said, “For real, I didn’t know I had voicemail in place yet.” Then I suddenly had this thought of pure horror as I recalled trying to record a new voicemail sometime the week prior because we had our numbers changed. Well, I tried like a million times to record a new message and it never would record. And at one point I recorded but got tongue tied and just yelled “BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH” and then spoke in this really weird voice and at the end said something like “This is utterly ridiculous.” Well guess what? It got recorded and has been playing for over a week without me even knowing it. Niiiiice one, Mel. Looks like I’ll be replacing that one with some nice elevator music and a Bible verse quoted in Hebrew just to make up for the drama. Geez! I’m such a dork sometimes.
As if that’s not bad enough I was at Walmart the other day and Sophie was at her height in whining and complaining and I was OVER. IT. She had just yelled in the most whiney little girl voice you could ever hear “I wannnnnnntttttt that Pineapple, Moooooom!” I squatted down to her eye level and said with the tightest lips I’ve had in a long time, “Sophie, that whine has got to go down the toilet right now. I’m sick of it!” I stood up only to look square in the eye of a church member’s son. I wondered if I quickly asked Sophie if she had to use the toilet if the church member would just assume they had misunderstood the communication between me and Sophie. Instead of the pastor’s wife just telling her daughter to flush her words down the toilet surely she had just asked her if she needed to use the toilet. But no, that’s not what I did. What did I do? Oh, I just took my cart and practically ran the other way burning up Walmart rubber all the way down the aisle. Now that’s classy. Yell at your kid, use potty language, and run away from a church member all in a half a second. I am making grand impressions at our new little church.
Leave a Reply