What my Dad taught me and what he never did for me

(Dad and our son a few years before he passed away)

I miss my Dad. He died in 2005 from a blood disorder. He taught me so much while loving me in the gentle way that he did. He had a tender and quiet way about him. His meekness yet strong leadership in his family, church and business community will always be something I admire and miss.

When I was a teenager we’d go on dates to the music store and he’d buy me the latest Christian contemporary tape. Yes, *tape*. He threw me into learning to drive by putting me in a stick shift and parking in the middle part of a steep hill with a row of trees at the bottom. He said, “Now you try.” In my freaked out voice I’d say, “But Daddddd I’ve never driven before. Can’t we start on something flat?!!” And he’d reply gently and kindly, “But this will make you a better driver. If you can learn on this you’ll be able to drive anywhere.” Turned out he was right. I’m not sure it was worth replacing the clutch and four tires from burning rubber the whole day but I finally got the method down and I killed it from then on. And I’m kidding – no repair was needed on the car. I thought I was going to kill us both but after a few tries I got the hang of it just like he said I would.

Dad taught me how to paint. He cared about the little things like you only dip your paint brush half-way to three quarters-way in the paint. Never ever do you get paint on the wooden part of your paint brush – sign of a bad painter. And you don’t ever get paint on the hinges or anything metal. That’s another Johnny Colquitt no-no. And of course you always clean out your brushes out immediately when you’re done for the day. ” The life of your paint brush is in the cleaning of them. ” On my first Summer long mission trip  somehow I was landed on the painting job of a stairwell. Scraped, sanded and painted the entire thing with one other person. What Dad taught me paid off.

Seemed like Dad had a method to much of what he did. Every morning up until two weeks before he died he did 25 push-ups and 25 sit ups in his den.  He had a morning routine of reading his Bible and praying and he always had a love for missionaries. He was a generous man. My Dad once helped a man who needed a transmission for his car. A total stranger. He asked Dad if he could pay him back and Dad agreed to help him. That act of kindness led to a lifelong friendship with a family in need. This one story represented at least 50 more. He was business savvy. Wasn’t afraid to try and fail. In his successes he never looked down on people.

When trying to make a decision about college I begged my Dad to just tell me where to go. The decision between three colleges was killing me and I just wanted him to make it for me. He wouldn’t do it. “Melody, you have to make this decision yourself and you can. Pray about it and write a list of pro’s and con’s.” Turns out that worked pretty good for me.

My Dad loved the book of James and on every family vacation he gave a devotional from James. We used to halfway laugh about it. Ironically he was a very wise man and he often reminded us of what God said about asking for wisdom.

This Father’s Day I’m doing a lot of thinking about my Dad and the treasure he left behind through the practical teaching he gave us. I don’t take for granted the gift of having an earthly Father who reflected my heavenly Father so well.

If you are reading and you didn’t have an earthly father who pointed you to Jesus and reflected the love of Jesus I want to tell you something important. There’s one thing my Dad, as good and loving as he was, never did for me. He never laid down his life for me. And yet that’s the greatest act anyone could ever do for someone. And while there are people who have laid down their life for their children or for perfect strangers (thank you Military men and women) there’s something different about a person doing it for all people of the world and not only that – but people who were born dead set against God and in a heap of sin. We are those people and that’s our Abba Father. No matter who your earthly Father was or is – your Heavenly Abba Father has the purest love and tender care for you as his child. Rest in that today.