Today I want you to hear from someone very close to me that has anxiety. She has given me permission to use the words she shared with me about this very real life issue of anxiety.
Leanne’s Background
My sister in law, Leanne, grew up in a loving pastor’s home and knew all about God growing up. But she wasn’t in a true relationship with him until later in life. Life circumstances out of her control and personal choices landed her in some very hard places. This began her journey with anxiety. She shares with me that as anxiety set in the Lord used it in her life to humble her and bring her to salvation although it wasn’t immediate. It was a humbling that ultimately helped bring her to Jesus.
But until that time she was crippled with anxiety. She had some major life changes going on. Her best childhood friend was dying, her relationship with her boyfriend was in trouble, she was experiencing financial trouble and had moved back in with her parents after being on her own for a few years.
She explains that physically she had a chemical reaction to the stress that produced panic attacks.
Leanne and her husband both have an amazing testimony of coming to Christ after a long pursuit of Jesus coming after both of them. They received Christ and began to follow him and have fallen more and more in love with him over the last 10 years. It has been such a joy to watch them grow in Christ.
Leanne still struggles with anxiety at times although nothing like she did before and I’ve asked her to share from a Christian’s perspective how she handles her anxiety.
How would you describe your anxiety?
Anxiety is the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced and there is absolutely no way to properly explain it to someone who has not gone through something similar. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, it’s just fear and sometimes you literally think you’re going to die. The panic washes over you and fear fills you and you just have to go through it – helping yourself the best you can. Once you’ve felt anxiety at the level where you cannot work, you cannot walk to the mailbox without fear, you cannot breathe well, you cannot stop thinking of death, you cannot stop crying, it’s just in there and has been my thorn in the flesh.
What are some of your triggers to your anxiety?
For me, I can’t be in big crowds so I avoid them. My husband knows this about me and I know he supports me and if I gotta go, I gotta go. It’s important to feel safe.
What has helped you deal with your anxiety?
I am on daily medication for my anxiety and have been for many years. That’s how I manage it long-term but when I am/was IN a panic attack I would listen to music called Scripture Lullabies that are comforting and literally sing straight scripture. It helps calm me more than anything and I have recommended that to people with anxiety or with big life changes and even a lady with cancer.
Also, praying out loud and saying the name of Jesus – this is crucial! I used to just pray to myself but one time it was so scary and intense that I just cried and cried out to him and said his name over and over and asked him to help me and it was a game changer. It’s true that the enemy will leave when he hears the name of Jesus and I fully believe that while it’s a chemical and physical it’s also spiritual and the enemy knows it’s “my thing”. But when I say His name out loud….it’s powerful!
It also helps to have whoever your rock is, to be with you. When I first had panic attacks, that person was my Dad but when I got married, it became my sweet husband who has literally come to work with me before and sat at the counter at Starbucks for 6 to 8 hours just so I could look at him and make it through the day.
Do you ever feel ashamed of having anxiety?
It’s not shameful to me, I don’t know why but I’m not the slightest bit embarrassed by it, even though I know some people are. I needed the help and am thankful that God gave us medicine to help us when we need it.
What would you say to those who are struggling with anxiety?
To them, I say you have to just be okay with it somehow, accept that it’s there and make changes to your life to help avoid your triggers.
Do you believe that God can deliver someone of their anxiety?
I absolutely believe God can fully heal and deliver someone of anxiety. I also believe his ways are higher than mine and if he chooses not to deliver me, I choose to trust him in that. It’s not easy, it’s easier to say that when I have it under control because of my medication, but I gotta either trust him or not. Everybody has something in their life and while I don’t believe God punishes us with “bad things”, I do believe he allows those same things to come into our lives because he can use them for his purpose in our lives. In my life, I was only living for myself and was not one to think of consequences, I just wanted to have fun and I did – but I was lost! So, my Heavenly Father allowed fear to come into my life and it literally stopped me in my tracks. My first major panic attack lasted 9 days straight.
I was in my early twenties and I had to constantly be near my Dad because I had such fear (and my Dad did that for me, such a picture of God!) BUT, here I am years later and I am living for Jesus while I still deal with anxiety. It’s not either or, it’s a choice to be okay with God’s answers to our prayers. I also believe that some of my choices in my lost years led to my panic attacks, so I have no anger or bitterness towards God for my “condition” – I feel very responsible for opening myself up to this but I know that’s not everybody’s experience and so it’s still just a choice to trust God….or not.
I so appreciate Leanne’s willingness to share what she’s learning. I love her heart in these matters. When someone opens up it helps us to know how to pray and it also lets us know we’re not the only ones who have a thorn in the flesh.
This is the last in the series on Dealing with Anxiety.
❤️
Love this so interesting…
Thank you for sharing. I understand to a degree, having had a panic attack of my own and intense anxiety for about a year. It’s gotten better, but once you’ve gone through that, it feels like everything’s different. I say life is marked as BPA and APA (Before Panic Attack and After Panic Attack). It changes you. But thank God that He’s good and life goes on and is still good, too. God bless, and thanks for being open with us.
https://lovehealme.blogspot.com/2017/08/help-for-anxiety-depression-and.html
Heather – I’ve heard other people refer to them in the same way – before and after. I’m sorry you deal with this too but it seems like you have a solid Christ centered outlook and trust. Thanks for sharing.
I remember so well these hard days (and nights). Your dad and I were so sad we could not help you more when your fears swamped you. When God brought you to Himself He graciously reminded you over and over of His love and care and protection, and He used those Scripture songs and the Word read by or to you. He gave you a husband who was kind and strong to help you and led us to doctors who knew how to help. While Satan would love to bring you back to those days and fill you with fear and dread, you allow Christ to fill you with hope and peace and joy. You have such a thankful heart and joyful spirit, and it’s so wonderful to see you choose to embrace life that way. You know that your enemy is lurking and waiting to slip in his daggers, but you armour yourself with Ephesians 6 weapons, understanding the spiritual warfare that is going on. I am so proud of you and thankful for the good choices you are making! I love you so much!
Those are precious words spoken like a true
Christ-centered Mama. Leanne was blessed to have y’all walk through those days with her and I love how Nick is that for her as well. Love y’all!