James Dobson always has my ear on parenting issues and so when I heard him
talk about children and sex education I wanted to listen carefully. Dobson
suggests that a parent have the sex talk with their child as they begin
Kindergarten. He explains it much better than I can but the main idea is that it’s
better for a child to have an initial understanding of sex explained through truth
(by parents) than their friend’s explanation on the bus or at the lunch table.
He says they will hear about it so you might as well be the first to explain it
so they have a framework already in place so that when it does come up with
friends there is a grid in which to process that information.
I never totally bought into this thought process especially when I stacked it up against my personal
experience. I was first introduced to sex education my freshman year of college
in Biology 101. Oh, yes, I’m very serious. I was appalled, mortified and shocked to
be taught the body parts I didn’t know existed inside the male and female body.
I know, I know….the human body is a beautiful thing. I know. But I wish I had
known from the comforts of my own home before I had to know about it in a
class of 50 for the first time. I know my jaw was on the floor and my face ashen
for the first hour of class. So that is my reference point.
Everyone says you are supposed to use the correct anatomical terms in
teaching your children the parts of the body and such. WHATEVER! I’m sorry but I
just don’t want to hear my seven year old use the word p—- for his wiener. I just
don’t. So we use the little kid terms. It just works for us. But here’s the down side to
that….
Mitchell was nine and thought boobs were called “aguas”. Here’s why: when he
was about three years old I was rocking him and I was wearing an aqua colored
sweater. He noticed my boob and patted it and said, “what is that?” In my ultra
naive mind I thought he was asking me what color my sweater was so I said,
“Aqua” and then I talked about all the colors of the rainbow and such.
Well, a few months later we both saw a lady walking out of a gas station that
was very huge up top. I mean, really big. I was afraid Mitchell noticed and
indeed he did. He glanced over at me and sort of half gasped and half laughed
and said, “Mom, did you see that ladies’ agua’s?” I suddenly realized what had
happened earlier and what he was really asking.
I decided to just let him think that’s what they were called. That would protect
him and me from having to discuss the real term for a little while anyways. And to
this day the child still thinks that agua’s are what God gave to girls. Here’s how I
know….we went through the Wendy’s drive through last week and there was a
huge sign that said “Get some fresh cold agua” or something to that effect. I
didn’t see the sign but Mitchell did because I heard him start cracking up in the
back seat and then he said, “MOM! That sign talked about getting some agua’s
in the restaurant!!!! That is SO gross!!!! I can’t believe they would put that on a
sign. How do you do that anyways?”
I about wet my britches right on the spot. I came home and said, “Oh Randy,
you are going to have to have the talk soon with Mitchell. I feel so bad for letting
him think that this whole time. ” We still haven’t had the talk. But I feel it’s time.
The other night at the dinner table he asked if people could make milk. I just
couldn’t tell him milk came from agua’s. All I know is that we gotta have this talk
before he starts taking Spanish. They’ll get to the word “water” and Mitchell will
be erupting with laughter while his face turns ten shades of red. All because his
Momma didn’t have the nu-nu’s to use real words!
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