When Motherhood is Humbling.

This won’t surprise you but our kids act like kids and they do impulsive things. Very impulsive. Like the other day at church. They both decided to unleash some rather foolish behavior at the same time. I walked into it not totally aware of what happened but soon got a clear picture. There were other children involved and a very nice and mature parent standing by when it all went down. I was angry and mortified at how my kids were behaving. At church. For some reason it would’ve felt better if it was on the soccer field or something. But noooo, all this is going down on holy ground.

When Randy became aware of the situation he was not happy. After talking about it with the kids, punishments were set out and bedtimes were established two hours early. After they were in bed Randy and I discussed the situation further. I reminded him that Mrs. so and so was there watching the whole thing go down and how horrifying it was for me and my Mama-bear pride. I knew it was wrong to be equally upset over the fact that the behavior was seen by others. I tried so hard not to care but I did.

What is so ironic is that the next day I was shopping and I saw Mrs. so and so in the store. At first I thought about striking a mannequin pose in the window so she wouldn’t notice me. But I chickened out. So I ran back to my dressing room and hid for a few minutes. Then I decided I just needed to put on my big girls panties and say it out loud.

I walked up to her and said in my best pastor’s wife voice, “Ohhhhhhh how nice to see you.”  And then I just came out with it and said, “Okay, I need to apologize for how my kids behaved last night. I am so sorry my daughter told your boys she would kick them in the you-know-whats. (was I really having this conversation in a clothing store?!!!! Oh my word, yes I was.)  I had her apologize already but still……I just need to say it out loud myself. And I’m so sorry our son lit a candle and licked his fingers to put it out in efforts to impress all the younger kids around. Yours included.”

I had half way conjured up in my head that she’d never let her kids play with ours again. She probably thought I was the worst mother ever and she would probably never ever consider visiting our church again in her life. Or any church. Heck, she might give up on religion all together. Oh how quickly my mind can get away with me. I didn’t really think all that but I got close to thinking all that hence the hide out attempt.

But it was the kindness in her eyes and her warm smile that totally put me at ease. She actually encouraged me and pointed out something she had learned from me in how I dealt with the situation. Seriously? We were about to come freakin’ undone as an entire family and she saw something good in the process? Wow, I didn’t see that coming. She is a Mom too and she understood. She totally put me at ease and encouraged me all at the same time.

And the Lord reminded me again that this thing called Motherhood – this amazing and wonderfully hard task of Motherhood is a humbling process. And how when it’s done in Christian community it just helps. When we encourage instead of judge – it helps. When we offer understanding instead of condemnation – it helps. And yes, even when truth is spoken as hard as it is to hear – that helps too.

I want to be a part of that kind of community.