Dear naked girl,
You don’t know me and I don’t know you but I’ve seen pictures of you posing nekked as a jaybird on your bed. And ummm no thank you. Thank goodness for the tiny blurry parts. We have spent years praying for and training our son to guard his eyes and to protect his heart. We’ve taught him to run fast from hints of sexual immorality. Now that he’s an older teen he is having to make these choices on his own. Sometimes he gets it spot on and other times he doesn’t.
We have guarded against social media for a long time. And you are part of the reason why. He had his Instagram account for a few weeks when you found him, followed him and sent a direct message to him with pictures of you in your birthday suit. You don’t even know him.
Save those pictures for your one and only. You cheapen yourself when you throw yourself out there like that. You are worth so much more. The very God who created you and put you together also loves you so much that he died for you and wants to be in a relationship with you. He wants you to follow him. No matter the choices you have made – he wants you and he loves you. You are a treasure to him.
Am I mad at you? No, although I really do want you to go put some clothes on. Please stop showing up in young men’s inboxes like that. Yes, you’re giving them an opportunity to practice integrity but you will cause many of them to stumble. To look longer. To keep those pictures on their phone and look for more. This will lead to looking forward to finding more pictures like that and then quickly it can become an addiction that will soon destroy families. What you are doing is serious. And I pray that one day soon you’ll understand more of the love and acceptance you already have in Christ.
Love,
A Mom raising a Christian young man
It breaks my heart that evil has snarled into readily available social media and cheapened relationships. I pray daily for a hedge of protection around my children and grandchildren. The ripple effects of evil are enormous.
The prayers of Grandparents are a treasure and a necessity for today’s Christian teen. It’s one of the greatest gifts to give.
ok. its time I find out how to do this. What app do you use? Can I see things before they do? I have an instragram account but can only see what they see or choose to post or whatever. I have no clue. tell me what to do.
There are multiple ways: put kids under your Apple ID so all texts coming in and out go to your phone. Or just know all passwords and go in and check their phone – look in direct messages for Instagram and Facebook. We spot check. We do not allow Snapchat because pics erase and you can’t see them. This is not a popular decision because that’s the app most kids use to communicate with friends. I try not to let what’s popular get in my head though. It’s easy to add social media than to
take it away.
My girls don’t have Snapchat either but do have Instagram… they tell me the pics sent through DM disappear like Snapchat…? I am learning all the time. Thanks for sharing, Melody.
Yes that’s right and that’s why I was really glad I opened the DM before he did.
Oh my! I am so sorry that this dirt/trash knocked on your son’s door. I am praying for you and your family. I am very proud of you and your words for the young naked girl. I am angry for this. You handled it so professional and with so much love in your heart.
Thanks Pam.
This is such a thoughtful look at a huge problem. It’s really nothing new. I have to remind myself of that. But it is just more readily accessible. And the line seems to be pushed further and further.
Thank you for sharing real and honest here. My son has struggled with pornography and he’s only 12. So we talk about it. We pray about it. We look up Bible verses about it.
The one thing we don’t do: pretend it doesn’t exist.
You’re right – it’s nothing new and that line keeps getting pushed further and further. And I love what you said about the one thing you don’t do is pretend it doesn’t exist.
I pray that your son will find the integrity to resist temptation, and that the young woman in question will learn with time and God’s guidance to value herself far above her sexuality. It might be all that modern culture tells her that she has to offer, but I know she has so much more to offer.
I know, because I’ve been similar to that young girl and when I wasn’t walking with Jesus, I was socialised with the notion that sex was a currency, a weapon and certainly not something sacred. It messed me up a bit. Similarly, my now-husband has previously struggled with porn addiction (he also wasn’t walking with Jesus at the time, needless to say!) and we can both attest to how it can rip a hole in the heart of any relationship, no matter how strong.
Thank you for sharing this truth. And thank you for raising your son to be stronger than what the world tells him, “that’s just what men do”… the world ain’t no match for the WORD!
x Anastasia | MightyMemos.com
Thank you so much Anastasia and what a sweet prayer you offered for our son. Great words of truth and thank you so much for sharing a tiny piece of your story. May our God continue to use you and your husband and your story of redemption and struggle to help others.