Several of my friends sat around my dining room table working on a project last week. Some of us have been praying together in a Mom’s in Prayer group for the last several years. Others connected through different venues. As we packed over 300 goody bags the topic of juuling came up. This was a new term for me. The first thought in my head was, “Oh cool, a new modern-day bedazzling gadget for jewelry” I’m a bit naiive like that. I won’t tell you that I once brought home a bong that I purchased thinking it was an adorable vase. I wish I was kidding.
Turns out that juuling is an addictive vaping trend among many teens and adults. I didn’t have a clue what it was. And I won’t get into that in this post other than to say be aware of what it is so you can detect it and be familiar with it in case your child does get pulled into the pressure of trying it out. There’s a video at the end of the article I linked to above that talks more about the dangers. Worth the time in watching. None of our kids are immune to the pressures around them.
After having more discussion and talking about how we Moms have handled certain difficult situations with our kids someone piped up and said, “We Moms really need each other.”
I couldn’t agree more. Susan Merrill calls it the Mom Squad in her book Passionate Mom. Moms supporting each other – not judging each other and talking about each other behind their backs. Moms who will be willing to say the hard thing to another Mom but in a grace-filled loving way.
What do you if you know a child is involved in something they shouldn’t be? That’s tricky. You don’t want to offend or cross a personal boundary. You also want to be sure you have accurate information before going to a parent to rat their kid out. It would be much easier to just keep your head down and your mouth shut. But in a community of Moms who support and pray for each other we take risks out of love. The words we strive for are filled with love and for the purpose of helping – not judging and tearing down.
At one point in our conversation I told my friends, “I don’t want to be the Mom who thinks her kids can do no wrong so I’m giving you permission now to please let me know if you discover that one of our kids is doing something they shouldn’t be. Don’t be afraid to tell me.” I love how Susan addresses this in her book and talks about how just because we are open to receiving correction/warning from another parent about our children doesn’t mean you have to immediately accept what they are saying. Susan gives the advice of saying something along the lines of, “Thank you for that information. I will pray about this and what to do next.” So not defending or affirming the situation being discussed. I see wisdom in that approach.
So Moms let’s stick together and support each other. Let’s stay positive and not be afraid to hear hard truth when we need to hear hard truth. To ask for forgiveness when we get it wrong and to offer forgiveness when others get it wrong. That’s the gift of a Mom Squad.
I’m so thankful I have a band of praying Moms I do get to do life with. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
This is such a great post! Visiting you today from Holley Gerth’s link up. laurensparks.net
So glad you stopped in!
Absolutely agree. It used to be that you could discipline other people’s kids and while I’m not sure I agree with that, I do want people to tell me if they see my kids doing something wrong. But in this day and age everyone gets offended so easily. A good response like you said is to acknowledge it and then deal with it in your own way. Don’t get offended but don’t brush it off either.
Yeah – that’s it…..Moms get offended so very quickly. Goodness, it’s okay to know our kids are going to mess up and we aren’t always going to be the ones to know it or see it. I’m thankful when someone cares enough about my kid to tell me about it.
I agree wholeheartedly, Melody! It’s so important to be informed on what’s impacting or tempting our kids. I remember one time my son alerted me to something my girlfriend’s daughter was doing (posting on her FB page). My girlfriend was totally unaware of her daughter’s activity and was glad that I brought it to her attention. I’m glad you have joined with other moms in doing this as well. I’m sure your kids will thank you all one day! Pinning to my parenting teens board! Oh, and I’d be the same way about “juuling”–completely clueless!
Beth – I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s clueless. LOL! And glad you had that kind of Mom friend support as well. It’s such a gift. Glad I ran across your blog today and so glad you visited here as well.