Meet Jennifer Vliet Newman, a long time friend from back in our youth group and college days. She and and her husband Jonathan have three children. They live in Ohio where Jonathan pastors their church plant Koinos Christian Fellowship. You’ll love her wisdom and insight in this article. It helped me and I pray it will help you in some ways as well.
This past summer I attended a women’s conference with a few friends from church, and we had the privilege of hearing John Piper deliver the closing message. He worked his way through Deuteronomy chapters 29 and 30, focusing on 30:6, “The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.” He drew out this sweet phrase from verse 9, “The LORD will again delight in you.” His point was when our hearts are turned from love of self to love of the all-satisfying, awesome God, we find our delight in Him; and when we delight in Him, He in turn takes great delight in us. It was an incredible sermon; you can watch it at
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/conference_media/matter-life-death/.
On our way back to the van to head home, one of the moms pondered aloud, “How do you teach a 5-year-old to delight in God?”
Good question. Here are some thoughts on teaching young ones to delight in the LORD.
My first thought was delighting in God is caught more than it is taught. Growing up in the Vliet home, I caught my parents’ love for coffee, since I saw my parents drink it all day long. Johnathan caught his parents’ love for garden-fresh tomatoes, which were served at almost every meal. I caught my dad loving God as I watched him get on his knees by his bed every night before going to sleep. I caught my mother’s love for the gospel and lost souls as I watched her invite neighbors over and write letters to loved ones to share how Christ had changed her. What are you “serving up” to your kids on a regular basis? If your kids were asked, what makes your mom or dad happy, what would they reply? Are you demonstrating to those around you that God is the One who brings you joy?
Second, delight in God is displayed by finding joy individually in His presence. If God makes you happy and you love Him more than anything else, you will find joy, like Mary did, sitting at His feet. One of the speakers mentioned the importance of your children seeing you read your Bible. My friend Heather’s young teenage son observed, “Mom, it seems like you’re always reading your Bible or doing a Bible study.” The fact is what you love you will give your time and attention to. Will your child say, Mom, Dad, you were always working. I remember you spending a lot of time on facebook. Seems like we were constantly redecorating the house or going to a basketball game. Or will your child remember, Seems like you must have loved God a lot because you were frequently spending time with Him.
Third, delight in God is demonstrated by making corporate worship a priority. I love Downton Abbey, so I made it a priority on Sunday nights at 9 pm to be sitting on my couch in my family room so I could give my time and attention to watch my favorite show. Do you love God’s people? Do you love the worship of God with His people? Then you will make it a priority. What might you be unintentionally communicating to your children when the greater commitment is to the sports team than it is to the corporate worship of our awesome God? Another conference speaker, Kristi Anyabwile, shared a story that convicted me. Her husband Thabiti is a pastor, but one Sunday morning someone else was giving the sermon. Thabiti was super congested and coughing repeatedly, so their son leaned over and asked, “Dad, why are you here when you’re not feeling well?” The answer was not, it’s my job or we always go to church on Sundays or this is what Christians do. Thabiti responded, “Because He’s worth it.” Do your children see you worshiping God out of duty or delight? Do they observe you finding joy in God’s presence both at home reading God’s Word and in corporate worship?
Last, delight in God is communicated when you enjoy His gifts and acknowledge Him as the Giver. Many times when Johnathan is eating steak, he’ll say, “Man, God is so good to give us steak!” I love trees, so almost every fall, I’ll mention God’s beauty displayed in the vibrant colors and His creativity and wisdom in designing the changing of the seasons. Paul David Tripp in his excellent Parenting book says this: “…it is not unnatural to talk about God all the time because he’s everywhere to be seen. How can you boil an egg, see the rising sun, hear the pounding of the rain, listen to the song of a bird, listen to the sizzle of a steak, watch the falling of the winter’s snow, view the turning of the leaves, stand on a beach and gaze across the seemingly endless ocean, listen to the huge catalog of different-sounding human voices, and not talk to your children about the glory of God?” Remind your children that “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17), thank God for those gifts, and then enjoy them!
Piper says, “The whole duty of the Christian can be summed up in this: to feel, think, and act in a way that makes God look as great as He really is.” This is what we want for our kids….to see how magnificent and glorious God is so they will love Him with all their hearts and in Him find lasting pleasure, peace, and purpose. Dads, moms, pursue true, steadfast joy in Christ for your own good and the good of your children. As you do, God will grant you the desires of your heart (Ps. 37:4), and what’s more, your family will cause Him to rejoice and to sing! “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” (Zephaniah 3:17). What a beautiful promise to claim for your home and for mine.
For more thoughts on delighting in God, here are some suggested resources:
John Piper’s Desiring God, When I Don’t Desire God, or The Pleasures of God
Paul David Tripp,’s Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do
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