I recently had the privilege of leading a prayer workshop with a small group of women. I have led many of these workshops and each one has it’s own unique flavor which I absolutely love however this workshop will always have a special place in my heart. There were two women in attendance who had lost a child. Their only child. My heart absolutely broke for these ladies. One is a young woman, the other a middle aged woman. One lost her newborn baby girl just two months ago and the other her young-adult son three years ago.
There are no words. Such pain and grief.
One of the ladies opened up and shared with us how her newborn baby girl passed away not many days after being delivered. She shared through tears some of the specific ways she’s struggling with the loss of her baby.
A few seats down sat the woman who lost her son three years ago.
I noticed how many of us, myself included, were quick to want to fix and make better a painful situation. Perhaps you’ve been there as well. Where we try to offer words of wisdom and they don’t come out like we want them to. We wonder if it’d be better to just not speak at all. We won’t always get it right but the answer isn’t to withdraw from people in an attempt to avoid saying the wrong thing. I’ve also learned there’s great wisdom in extending grace to people when they say well meaning but hurtful things.
But I noticed something else in group time together. The Mom who lost her adult son, the one who understood more than any of us what this freshly grieving Mama was going through, stayed quiet except for a few words. I could tell she had a lot going through her head but she held her words and chose them carefully. She also did something with no words that spoke volumes. She wrote her name and number down on a napkin and quietly passed it down to the young grieving Mama. She didn’t even say “call me”. She just handed her the napkin with eyes that mouthed, “I know what you’re going through. You may not be ready to call me yet but when you are you have my number.” It was a beautiful way of ministering that came out of a grief stained heart of understanding.
These two Mama’s didn’t know each other. They’d never even met before. But God arranged this prayer workshop in such a way that they would sit a few seats down from each other. I love how our God is near to us even when we don’t realize it. He’s near in small ways like arranging attendees in workshops and connecting people in ways only he can do. And in huge ways like unfolding the ultimate sacrificial gift by sending his son to die for us so that we could be near him forever.
“But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge; that I may tell of all Your works.” Psalm 73:28
Later this week we’ll talk about grappling with God when his nearness feels non-existent and when it doesn’t feel good.
Be encouraged friends – our God is near and his nearness is our good!
What a beautiful testimony to the power of just being with someone else. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, there are plenty of times that the tragedy of the situation is beyond words. Often I am calling upon the Holy Spirit for guidance and often the response is “just be”. It is the power of our presence that is soothing. Allowing someone to be vulnerable in their emotions and not feeling like others are trying to fix it or make it all better.
Do you ever feel it’s easier to talk than to “just be” during those times? I do and I’m working on getting more comfortable with silence. Thanks for sharing!
Your words are so true. Without going into too much detail, I have learned that compassionate silence, a hug, a note, a look is all we need. Compassion for those who pull away from us during storms is needed. Sometimes, they hurt too much FOR us to offer visible support, but they are quietly supporting us via private prayers. I learned this in my own journey and was blessed with peace. Thank you for sharing.
“Compassionate silence” – yes love that. Sometimes we’re afraid of silence and try too quick to fill it.
So true- there are times when we want to fix a situation but we can’t. Sometimes the most important thing is just being there, offering a hug or a listening ear.
I’m so glad this young lady was with you for an Umbrella Prayers event. I’m praying for her regularly! May God use what she heard that day!
me too Michele. She is being covered in prayer by so many.