I hate to admit it but my relationship with Dooley our dog is based on pure lies. She hates to go the groomer although we have a wonderful groomer and once she gets there she’s fine but she has major separation anxiety and pees everywhere if she thinks she’s going to the “groomer”.
So we don’t say the word “groomer” in our house. But somehow she still knows. We even made up a song called “She Knows” but we can’t sing it anymore because then she knows we know and she runs and hides. So in my attempt to get her to the groomer I have stooped so low as to make up lies for our dog.
Last month I said, “Dooley, let’s go get a treat!” And she came running into the grooming trap. Worked like a charm. I felt terrible but she got to the groomer and didn’t pee on the couch.
So today I tried the ole, “Dooley, let’s go get a treat!” on the way out the door and I swear she looked at me, rolled her eyes as if to say, ‘I aint falling for that one again’ and took cover. So I left and took the kids to school and came back and stooped even lower than lying.
I made a fake phone call for MY DOG. OMGosh I’m a psycho! I called myself from our home phone – I left the cell phone in the van so she couldn’t hear it ring and be on to me. I pretended to be talking to Randy. I said, “Hey how ya doing. Oh, really, okay, that’s good. Mmhm. Yeah, right. Okay, well I’m going to go take a WALK now.” I immediately saw Dooley’s head perk up and she begins to take interest. She knows this word well. I hung up the phone and didn’t look Dooley’s way but said, “I’m going for a walk, want to come?” It broke my heart to see her run to me tapping dancing the whole way in sheer delight to go take a walk.
We got outside and I opened the van door and said, “Hop in.” She cocked her head in confusion. We don’t drive to go walk. We just walk down the road so she knew something was up. But she hopped in and as soon as I shut the door she knew.
Insert the refrain “She Knows……she knows……every time she gets her fur groomed every time we take her there She know-ohs, She Know-ohs”
I thought about what to tell her on the way there. But we both just drove there in silence. I’m pretty sure if she spoke I would’ve peed all over the place too. But neither of us knew what to say. If dogs cussed I’m sure she’d had a mouth full (learned from the sketchy neighborhood dogs of course.)
So that’s my dumb dog story.
Don’t hate or judge me. I love my dog and she knows it.
test…..