Stephen Grcevich, MD is a Christian child and adolescent psychiatrist who describes what he calls a huge disconnect in the two worlds he lives in each week: work and church. What’s the disconnect? He puts it this way, “The families I meet through my work are far less likely than other families in our community to be actively involved in a local church. This reality is a tragic departure from Jesus’ plan for his church. The families I see in my practice need to hear the gospel message proclaimed just as much as my family does. They need good teaching, service opportunities, and small group community just as much as my family does.”
For those of us not touched by mental illness you may be thinking, “So what’s the big deal? Nobody is keeping these families out of church. They can attend like anyone else.”
I’m learning that a statement like that reveals a lack of understanding of mental health issues. I will be the first to say that I don’t understand a lot but I’m trying to. Most of my very limited understanding has come from hearing people’s stories and reading books like Stephen Grcevich’s, Mental Health and The Church.
There is a stigma attached to Mental Illness and thankfully there are people like Dr. Grcevich who are trying to help dismantle that stigma especially within the church because the church is often the first place people with mental health issues turn to.
This book has helped me see where I personally am buying into the stigma attached to mental illness in different ways. For example, the fact that the tagline of Dr. Grcevich’s book says, “A ministry Handbook for Including Children and Adults with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, and Other Common Mental Health Conditions.” bothered me to a degree because our son has ADD. I had no idea that was considered a “mental illness”. I don’t like the sound of that. And it’s because when I think of “mental illness” it conjures up this crass visual in my head: a person in a white straight jacket, rocking back and forth and banging their head against a wall. Or the kids that shoot other kids in schools. That’s an incredibly ridiculous and inacurate over-generalization of what all mental illness looks like. That kind of ignorant thinking distances and isolates people. And I don’t want to do that because everyone deserves to know and feel the love of Jesus through his people.
We tend to look at people with physical disabilities with much more compassion and understanding than those with mental illness disabilities. For instance, when a child in a wheelchair with a physical disability is disruptive in a church service by making loud noises it’s considered okay whereas if a child with ADHD has a sudden outburst or is tapping the pew in front of them it’s not okay. Because often times people think that the child with the physical disablity doesn’t have a choice but the kid with ADHD does. He/she can control himself or his parents should discipline him/her more often. I personally think the disconnect here comes because we can’t “see” mental illnesses and therefore are quick to make faulty assumptions.
Mental Health and The Church has opened my eyes to having a greater compassion and understanding of those who come to church with a mental illness or who don’t come to church because of their mental illness. The depth of anxiety some people experience at the thought of having to shake someone’s hand or meet a new person is very real. I had no idea people struggled with this. Some people are completely stressed about getting lost especially if it’s a mega church because they can’t remember directions well. Others are afraid you will hug them or make them speak in a small group environment and this causes intense anxiety. Some kids have serious sensory issues and are truly sensitive to certain sounds, lights, textures, etc. Others simply can pull themselves out of bed to get ready for church because of the weight of depression.
If our reaction to these things is “Seriously? They just need to get over it” then we could be a contributing factor to the reason people with mental illness leaving the church or stay but feel isolated and misunderstood.
When mental illness doesn’t touch us personally it can be very hard to understand. And that’s why education and awareness is important in helping us to understand.
I will never forget being in a church with a family whose young child had a serious aversion to balloons and the song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” So much so the child would have a full blown melt down with his hands desperately clutching his ears to stop hearing the song. In my lack of grace and understanding I always felt it was a “picky child issue” and perhaps a parenting issue and that it could be controlled. The child was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and looking back it all makes sense. At the time I’m afraid I was quite judgmental and insensitive in my thoughts. I regret that so much. This child still struggles to find his place in the church and I’m afraid it’s partly because of people like me.
So how do we as a church help people with mental illness?
I believe it starts with an attitude of the heart and recognizing that mental illness is a very real thing. Mental illness is not a choice and it’s not always a result of sin (outside the fact that our entire world is touched by sin and everything is tainted because of original sin). The church historically has addressed mental illness by saying it’s all a result of sin. And the way you cure mental illness is by either getting saved or having more faith and praying harder. Case closed.
The inability to snap out of mental health illness is not because of a lack of faith. When we tell people to pray harder and read more Bible verses to rid themselves of depression and other mental illness related issues we are actually hurting people. Of course we want to encourage people to stay in God’s word, to pray and to seek God’s help. God can heal mental illness and we should encourage all people with these truths. But God doesn’t always heal. Look at Paul’s thorn in the flesh. He asked three times that it be removed and God didn’t do it. Why?
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” II Cor. 12:9-10
There are often cases of mental illness where medication is necessary. A psychiatrist’s intervention is needed. And we need to let people know that this is okay. It’s not a spiritual cop out to get mental health help.
If you are not touched by mental illness be thankful by the grace of God you are not. But don’t just wash your hands of it since it doesn’t impact you. As a believer in Christ it actually does impact you. Here’s why: statistics show that 8-12 percent of teens experience anxiety disorders and 18.1 percent of adults experienced an anxiety disorder during 2015. Did you know that suicide is the second leading cause of death in the US among people ages fifteen to thirty-four?
This means that if you’re in a church of 300 people there could be up to 54 people scattered among your congregation that are silently or openly struggling with a mental illness. So this impacts all Christ followers because we are to bear one another’s burdens.
I’m learning how much of mental illness is a snowball effect. It effects family members and they are a separate group of people needing ministering to as well.
How can we practically minister to the person struggling to walk through our church doors that is plagued by mental illness?
In the book Mental Health and The Church there are some great suggestions to consider incorporating in your church. Some are simple ideas like offering a walk through to a family who has a child with separation anxiety. To see exactly where their classroom is in advance can be helpful. Many other practical ideas are offered to help ease problematic areas for children/teens dealing with mental illness.
Other suggestions are to openly discuss mental health concerns from the pulpit and for church members to share their own mental health stories. Post articles on your church’s social media outlet that talk about mental health help issues. When one person shares it often frees others up to share. Building partnerships with the professional mental health community and having a list of available resources for counseling, doctors, etc. was encouraged.
In this post I’ve talked about areas where the church can grow in understanding mental health issues. But there’s another side to things and that’s where it relates to the individual dealing with mental illness or the family of the one dealing with mental illness. What is their responsibility in all this when it relates to finding their place in the church and not leaving the church mad or hurt because they weren’t treated with sensitivity. I want to talk about that in our next post as well as list some helpful resources for families that are touched by mental illness.
Don’t forget to leave a comment to be entered in the drawing for the book “Mental Health and The Church” next Thursday. Come back to see if you won and be sure to contact me with your mailing address.
Mental Health and The Church – Part 1
Melody, this is such an important and timely issue, and I am so thankful that you are addressing such a difficult topic! I can relate to every single word you have written! As you know, we also have a son with ADHD, and we have been those parents in the pew with the loud and disruptive child! We have felt the glares and (perceived) judgement from others, that his behavior was because of poor parenting or lack of discipline. It has created a great deal of embarrassment and shame for all of us, and I have SO much more empathy now for anyone who is dealing with any type of mental struggle! I do feel encouraged that times are changing and there seems to be a shift in understanding the idea of mental illness – for example, the phrases I see now are “brain-based disorders” and “a-typical brains/ a-typical learners” – which puts the focus on the brain itself (a physical body part), instead of the “mental-thoughts-feelings” idea (something that is a choice). I have had excellent doctors who have explained to me that this is a brain-chemistry issue (like diabetes is a chemical issue – lack of insulin), and that the brain chemistry must be treated like any other physical problem. I am grateful in many ways that we have experienced this in our own family, because it has given us a great compassion for others who are struggling with similar issues. Thank you for starting this very important conversation, my friend! We all still have a lot to learn, but shedding a light on this topic and opening the door for discussion is such a wonderful thing for you to do!
Ashley – Thanks for sharing. Not always easy to do. Interesting that the terminology is changing. I’ve not seen that personally but I do like the “brain-based disorder” or “a-typical learner” semantics because it takes you to the thought that you can’t change your brain but somehow we think we can change our mental state even though that starts in the brain. LOL. I’m not sure that even makes sense what I just said. You make a great point of these things creating space for so much more empathy for others. Even our kids who are struggling with ADHD and other illnesses will have a different platform to share God’s love and grace in a unique way when they get older and sometimes even now. It’s the thorn we want to pray away in our kids or those around us and sometimes God does lift, heal and ease the symptoms but when he doesn’t we can know he’s using it for his glory somehow and for their good.
Did I miss the chance for the drawing? I think I’m too late. My interest in this topic stems from having adopted a child out of a hard hard place and researching why learning (academically and behaviorally) just didn’t look like regular learning… and now I know that trauma has affected him in ways I never imagined. This is such a helpful topic for me, my family, and anyone I can get to listen.
Hi Stephanie – I’m glad you dropped by over here. The drawing already took place and winner was posted but I’d encouraged to still consider purchasing the book. It was helpful to me in a lot of different ways. I learned a lot. We too have adopted our children and you probably know by now how many adopted children struggle with various challenges. I’m learning that in addition to praying for them specifically and acknowledging God’s sovereignty in our children’s placement with us that reading and educating myself is important….like you’re doing. Check back for more give aways in the future.