I’m the worst Tooth Fairy ever.
That’s why my husband is usually the Tooth Fairy in our house.
Go ahead.
Picture it.
Except he doesn’t wear a tutu or carry around a sparkly wand. Not that I ever did either because that would just make the rest of the worlds teeth fall out.
The reason I’m a lame Tooth Fairy is because I forget to get the money. Who carries cash around with them anymore unless you’re enrolled in a Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class (which is awesome by the way). So this poses a problem when teeth fall out in our house.
When I do finally get around to getting cash in the house I then forget to put it under the pillow. Randy stays up the latest in the household so I guess this is how he landed the job of putting the money under the pillows when needed. He has always done a superb job. He even writes “toothfairy notes” back to the kids because they always leave a note asking the toothfairy to leave the tooth. So he leaves money and a note. Stellar Dad!
Well last week I was reinstated as the Tooth Fairy because Randy had a horrible headache and went to bed early. This was my chance to redeem myself in the Tooth Fairy department.
But failure was right around the corner. Ugh!! I forgot to leave the money again. Sad little girl woke up to her tooth still tucked under her pillow in right where she left it.
The next night I remembered right as I got all snuggled up in bed. I ran downstairs and grabbed the money. Went upstairs and realized I had to write a note. Went downstairs and went on a wild goose chase looking for a small, unfamiliar to her piece of paper to write on. Finally I resorted to a Multiplication Flashcard. Who needs to know what 6×11 is anyways.
I scribbled out a “You can keep the tooth. Enjoy the money. Love you bye.” and ran upstairs to put it under her pillow. But she was still awake. And I was sooooo tired. So I decided to fake a toothfairy move and I ran in there and said, “Did you call me?” as I slipped the note/money under her pillow ever so stealth like. I was feeling more confident and apparently I had Tooth Fairy skills afterall! They were just hidden.
Right as I was getting all puffed up at my fairy dust skilzzzz the girly girl sits up in bed and grabs my arm and says, “REALLY?!! Are you kidding me?” and busts out laughing. I was so caught red-handed.
And this is why I got fired as the Tooth Fairy. The end.
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