If you are a parent and you are not proactively protecting your child from what they have access to on their phones, iPods, iPads and computers then chances are your kids have been or are being exposed to soft or hard core porn.
It’s not necessarily because kids are looking for it although kids are curious. Today instead of having to look through a dictionary for dirty words they can google them and see lots of pictures along with the definition. I think many times exposure to porn starts as an accidental occurrences of pop up porn and then curiosity follows.
I’ve talked with many Christian parents and grandparents in the last year whose kids have been exposed to extremely graphic hard core porn – videos on youtube. Pictures on google. They were devastated to find such explicit material and to know their kids had been exposed to that.
This stuff is in the palms of our children and it’s only one click away. And while training our children to have a heart that loves and follows God is what will ultimately keep ourselves and our kids away from this junk we hardly have time to get through the training process without them being exposed to it so early.
That’s why I believe it’s imperative to have safeguards in place. There are a lot of ways to do that. We have found http://iparent.tv to be extremely helpful. They offer filters and guidelines for parents. In just a few minutes you can find out how Snapchat, Badoo, Instagram and other popular social media sites work. I bought the app for my phone because I want to know what’s out there and what kids are into these days. I’m not a social media expert but these people are and they know parents don’t have a lot of time to go research this stuff out so they have done it for us! It’s awesome. So worth the time in snooping around their site.
Don’t have the money to purchase a filter? No problem. There are good ole fashion, free ways like simply saying, “No” to your 4th grader who is begging for an iPhone with Youtube on it. Or maybe you feel your child is old enough for a phone but you don’t want access to the internet – simple, don’t install it. You have the power to take off those apps. Surely there will be push back on your kids end but it’s time to step up and be the parent in this area.
I hear over and over an attitude from parents that they have no choice in the matter when it comes to their kids devices. They feel powerless. Like it’s a domain that can’t be touched because it’s so personal and because they don’t understand how some of the apps work.
Two things to remember here:
1) Get educated. Use sites like the one I’m recommending (no kickbacks for me on this – I just believe in it) Go to a phone store of the Apple store and have a conversation to find out the questions you have about your child’s phone.
2) Remember this: Your child doesn’t have a right to privacy. I know that’s what you hear them say. But until your child turns 18 and doesn’t live under your roof they have NO right to privacy. Feel no guilt over this. It’s the way it should be. Yes, even if they are a teen and paying their own cell phone bill they have no privacy.
I believe with age should come more freedom and so while accountability is still in place – whether it’s a filter or a tracking app or you checking their phone – you can still grant more freedom and space with age so they can learn to navigate through mistakes and actually have the chance to exercise discipline in the area of guarding their eyes.
I feel very passionate about this stuff because I’ve talked to way too many people with kids my age and younger who have been exposed to such graphic sites. There are such deep consequences to this stuff and I don’t want to see a culture hindered from God’s work because of an addiction that led to failed relationships all because of a little 4×5 wide open device parents handed over with such excitement.
May God give us wisdom in training our kids in a culture that is rushing them into sexual perversion and immorality. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. Let’s hang on to that and know that our God is more powerful than the images satan is trying to throw in our faces.
As the mother of two sons, I’d like to give you a high five for this post! So many moms are pretending that their boys aren’t exposed or tempted by porn. I say we fight the fight head on. It’s a battle ground and we need strong, equipped moms like you if we can even have a chance. Great post.
yes you make a good point – temptation is there even among Christian teens -especially among teens (hello raging hormones!)and to deny it is the first step towards the very thing we hate.
Your child doesn’t have a right to privacy. I LOVE that! So many parents feel otherwise. It must be scary raising kids today. My daughter didn’t have a cell phone until she was 16, and my son only had one at 14 because he was running a business (Landscaping—I work for him now…isn’t that weird?!). As far a porn, I shudder every time I click the remote past the porn channels…even though they’re blocked, it irks me that they’re even there! I always think, “What do people with impressionable kids think of this?”
Yeah I bet that is weird to be working for your son now! Pretty cool though that he started his business at 14! That’s so awesome! I’m still trying to get my kid to remember to brush his teeth at age 13. We totally need to talk. Ha!
It’s refreshing to hear a parent being informed and firmly believing, on this subject. Thanks for talking with other parents and encouraging them–they may think they are alone in the fight. Keep it up!
Coming to you from Holley Gerth’s blog today.
It’s so important to know what’s going on around our kids. And, you’re right, what kid needs privacy?! 🙂 I’m glad there are parents like you who are intentional about raising kids in this world. I’m glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.
The no privacy thing – ummm wish I could take credit for that but a very wise mentoring couple taught us that when our son was just a baby. They led a parenting class and that was one of the things that he stressed. Amazing how timely the advice in our culture today when every kid seems to be demanding their online privacy.
We have never thought about giving our kids privacy. That’s what parents are for :). I will have to check out that app. We were a lot more vigilant with our daughter’s tech habits than we have been with our son. They are completely different, but he is almost a teen so it’s time to step up. My daughter is an adult now and finally appreciates how we raised her and the safeguards we had in place. It’s very refreshing!
It’s refreshing to hear that eventually they find appreciation in the safeguards! I hope ours will too. They don’t resist and complain too much but they definitely notice they have more restrictions than most. P.S. How in the world did you get your blog site chick to look just like you? That’s so awesome!!