When apologies are hard but sweet

Oh yes she did.

Sigh.

The problem when you’re a pastor’s kid is that sometimes you hear too much. Like the Sunday night a few weeks ago when her Pastor Daddy was talking about Father Christmas and St. Nicholas. The story has it that St. Nicholas cared for the needy and gave gifts to children. He later died but the tradition was picked up in many countries and instead of being called Father Christmas we call him Santa Claus today. This was  just a side note in a discussion on Christmas traditions. No Santa bashing or anything like that. So what is the one thing Sophie hears while she’s playing in the sound booth that night?

Santa’s dead.

We talked about it and there were some follow up conversations. We have always told our kids that other families choose to believe in Santa and that’s fine. We don’t want to ruin that for them and so we are not going to talk about Santa not being real to anyone else.

So when Sophie’s teacher mentioned that she recently shared her beliefs about Santa with a few of her friends I was a little surprised.

The car ride home from school was filled with tears and frustration. She hadn’t handled things well and she knew it. She was the one who initiated the conversation about Santa. There were insincere threats thrown out to not be her friend if she didn’t say that she believed Santa was real. She refused to say Santa was real. That’s also when she decided it was best to inform her friends that not only was he not real but that he was in fact dead. I have a feeling emphasis was added at the time it came out of her mouth.

We talked about how she could have handled things differently and we prayed for wisdom to know what to do next. Then she wrote two apology notes. Not for not believing in Santa. But for how she used her words that day.

Apology notes in hand and heart pounding hard this morning she walked out the door and said, “Mom, I hope they’ll still be my friend.”

I had no doubt they would be. They’re sweet girls and they’re all good friends. But I looked her in the eyes and said, “Honey, you have done what you need to do to make things right with God and your friends. And now you have to leave it in God’s hands. You aren’t responsible for how they will respond. Only how you respond. Now go and be a good friend today and choose your words wisely.”

I have to admit when I showed Randy the note he all but busted a rib laughing. I gave him no context of what had happened that day. Just handed him the note. We both had a good laugh together but then had to pull it together so he could go and talk to Sophie as well. Oh my goodness. The joys of parenting, right?!

** Update: Sophie came home and was more than pleased to announce that her friends accepted her apology and gave her a hug.  I couldn’t have been more happy for her.

And we both were reminded today that a sincere apology goes a long way and forgiveness sure is sweet when we choose to accept it.

Linking up with Jennifer, Holley and Kristen today at the following sites.