Tonight I was cooking dinner and sent the kids outside to play. I gave them options since at times they only think they’re capable of watching TV or gaming. Jump on the trampoline, shoot air soft guns, walk the dog down the street, scale a tree…..just get your fannies outside and play.
A few minutes later I look out the window and see a splotch of blue through the trees walking way down the sidewalk with his sister in tow. I didn’t think much of it until I saw the dog at my feet and glanced at the back porch and saw no guns where they’re usually laying when they’re shooting. Signs of trouble. I could feel it in my bones.
The phone rang and it was Randy. I said, “Hey, is it a big deal if the kids are walking down the street carrying air soft guns?” He said, “Probably not but they really shouldn’t do that.” I didn’t think it was a good idea but I just wasn’t sure how big a deal it was.
I hop in the van and drive down the road and sure enough….there are my two vagabonds roaming the streets with an air soft assault rifle in hand and a pistol. They were shooting at trees. I slowed the van down, gave the evil eye and pointed with my finger for them to get in the van. They were all like, “What’s wrong Mom?” I gave them the lecture about treating air soft guns like real guns and walking in public with real looking guns and how they could get arrested if they pointed that at someone and it looked real. Besides they didn’t even ask if they could leave our yard with them.
We got home and I told them I understood they didn’t know not to do that but to never do it again. I made them put up their guns for the day and said we’d try again tomorrow. All was good.
I texted Randy a few minutes later to tell him what happened. He said, “Take a picture and then arrest them.” I texted back and said, “You should call the home number (knowing Sophie would answer) and pretend to be the police. Ha! Ha!”
A few minutes later the phone rings while Sophie is setting the table. I hear her say Hello and then she runs into the living room and says in sheer panic, “Mom, I think it’s Dad but I’m not sure.” He had just said in a disguised voice, “Hello, this is the Police Department looking for the two kids walking down the street with air soft guns.”
Knowing it was Randy and what he was doing I said, “Nah, honey, I think Dad’s in a meeting.”
This is terrible. Really it is. What happened next is nothing but the truth.
Her face literally went ashen, she throws the phone at me as if it’s a hot potato and runs up the stairs wailing, “Mitchell! Mitchell! It’s the police!! They saw us! This is the worst day of my liiiife”
Randy was on the phone laughing so hard because he could hear everything. I was about to wet my pants. I was in pure shock at her reaction because you can’t usually pull anything over this child and I’ve never seen her so rattled in my life. We were both taken back by her response.
I quickly yelled upstairs for Sophie to come downstairs. Oh bless her. She came down, still clutching the four knives she hadn’t yet placed on the table and she was bawling. I said, “Honey, it was Dad on the phone not the police. He was just kidding with you.”
I hugged her and held her tight and felt like the biggest piece of scum for coming up with such a scheme. She kept crying and I said, “Honey, what was going through your mind?” She said, “That we were about to get arrested.”
Oh.my.word!
So what kind of Mom were you today?
Today one of mine had too much “screentime” for the day. I said he couldn’t watch anything else, play any more games, or use the computer until he went out and walked around the church playground three times.
I love it – just like the little kids do when they get in trouble and have to walk laps around the playground. The first time I was parked in carpool and watching Mitchell walk laps I was so proud of him for getting some exercise. I noticed this again and finally on the fourth day asked him why he was so interested in walking laps every afternoon when he could play. And that’s when I learned he was walking laps for misbehaving. Ahem. Yeah.
That sounds like something my husband and I would do too. You don’t ever want to inflict that kind of terror on your children though. We were in the habit of hiding in the corner to surprise my son. He loved it, but after he could anticipate where we would be, we put together a little more elaborate plan that scared him to tears. What started in good fun went south quickly. I know. You meant well. It will make a good story when your grown children relive their childhood memories.