I’m not sure how the conversation got there but Mitchell started asking questions about marriage and populating the earth. How did Adam and Eve, the first family, populate the earth without marrying into family? And if we are all ultimately related to each other then why have marriage in the first place? Why not populate the earth without marriage?
Just a few light questions…… that I couldn’t pass off to the preacher because he wasn’t there!
Great questions. I just wished I had some time to think about the answers ahead of time but I did the best I could. It was a great chance to talk about the sacred marriage covenant that God set up as a picture of his love for the church, his bride. And how there is incredible blessing when we honor God by viewing marriage the way he views it. We talked back and forth about this for a while and then another deep conversation starts. Another one I wasn’t quite ready for.
Same sex marriage.
Sophie brings up the fact that sometimes boys marry boys and girls marry girls. Thank you Sophie for bringing this topic up at your whopping six years of age. We can partially thank the morning news for enlightening our children about this fact. They featured a gay marriage one morning and both the kids walked in on that clip where two men were kissing each other and naturally they had a million questions about it. So it wasn’t a brand new topic but this time there were a lot more questions.
Mitchell asked why anyone would want to marry the same sex. Then he asked if it was legal. He said we should tell President Obama so he could do something about it. When I explained that Obama supported same sex marriage Mitchell was shocked. He asked if he could write a letter to the President. When I asked him why he wanted to do that he said, “Because he’s the President and he can do something about it.”
We talked briefly about showing respect to the President whether we agree or disagree with his decisions. He is the President and we should respect his position. I told him if he could be respectful and wise in writing his heart then he could write and send a letter to the President.
I wasn’t sure he’d write the letter but he did. A little later he handed me a hand written note that said this:
Dear Mr. President,
My name is Mitchell ___________. I am 12 years old. I really respect you and what you have been doing. But there is just one little problem. Why are you ok with boys marying boys and girls marying girls. It’s just wierd. And it is Dishonoring God. Do you think you can change the law? It’s all your choice. You are Mr. President.
From,
Mitchell ____________
There were some things I wanted to tell Mitchell that I didn’t that day. It will be a conversation for later perhaps. In his 12 year old way he states, “it’s just weird” that anyone would be attracted to the same sex. He can’t fathom why in the world anyone would have those feelings because he can’t identify. I can’t personally identify either however I am coming to understand the reality that many men and women struggle with same sex attractions and they don’t like it that way. They’ve prayed for God to take away the desire. To change their sexual orientation but they still struggle and feel trapped.
Former President of Exodus International, Alan Chambers says, “Nobody puts their feet to the floor one day and says, ‘I think I’ll decide to be gay today.'” His story is one of a life long struggle with same sex attraction. He is a Christian. A believer and follower of Christ yet he has to fight this desire that he has prayed many times to leave him.
There is so much I don’t understand regarding these issues. I know what God says about homosexuality throughout his word. He says it’s sin. And He says my desire for food and material things over Him is sin too. But we’re talking about homosexuality in this post. The more our world accepts and supports homosexuality the further away from truth we stray. At the same time I believe we must love our neighbor – including our gay neighbor – as ourself. What this looks like completely for the Christian and for churches in relation to the gay and lesbian community I’m not sure. I think it starts with love and prayer instead of hate and disgust for those struggling with same sex attraction.
Mitchell asked me at the the end of our conversations that day, “Mom, will our country ever get to the point where we can’t have a Bible?” I told him I didn’t think we would ever experience that but his Grandchildren or Great Grandchildren might. And that’s why knowing and practicing God’s word is so important. And not only knowing it for ourselves but passing it down to our children so they can pass it down to their children while sitting at the kitchen table or driving to school.
I’m proud of Mitchell for standing up for his values even if there is some naivety wrapped up in that letter. I’m glad that we can talk to our kids about issues that are complicated and sensitive with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. And at the end of these conversations I pray we can always point it back to a loving Savior who wants to redeem his people – all of us, every day.
Well Mitchell I agree with you. But unfortunately bills include more than one law. In the laws that would prohibit same sex marriages also include forbidding people of different races from marrying just because of the color of their skin. The lawmakers have a way of squeezing in very important human rights with their wants. If the law is prohibit same sex marriages they also restrict rights for African American and other minorities.
And our president is the president of the whole country not just for us Christians which would be better for all but, our country abused that long ago.
I hear you Liz. Well said.
1967 was the legalization of interracial marriage. While the issue seems similar I can’t help but feel that same sex marriage is totally different. I believe an interracial marriage can honor God if the marriage is built on two believing heterosexual Christians. The issue is not color but God’s design for marriage. A Christian woman and Christian man makes up the biblical family unit designed and intended by God. You’re right, our country is not all Christian and so should the marriages that are not built on God’s design be withheld certain freedoms and privileges. The civil ramifications are not something I’ve come to terms with yet. I wonder all the time how Jesus would respond. He would love through it all, I do know that.
Wow, tough questions! I always appreciate your willingness to tackle the tough issues and your honesty and transparency on your blog. I have to confess, I am a fairly liberal Christian. I guess that’s my pc way of trying to say that I support same-sex marriage. For me, it’s a civil right’s issue. My husband and I have talked about the difference between marriage as a legal act and marriage as a sacred act. (He is much more conservative than I am, by the way! 🙂 )
I deeply respect your position, however, and love that you have given your son a voice and the confidence to respectfully use it.
Sara….so good to hear from you. Thanks for your input! And thanks for disagreeing and being nice about it. You too Liz. I don’t have too many liberal Christian friends so I feel kind of naughty hanging out with the liberals. Ha! Ha! I’m kidding you guys. I love ya’ll – but not enough to marry you. (sorry. bad joke)