I will tell you in this space what I told our church two years ago as Randy and I faced the congregational interrogation while we were candidating for the Sr. Pastor position. A church member asked if I sang or played the piano. My response was this:
The most musical part of my entire self is my name. Melody. That’s as good as it gets when it comes to me being musical. I don’t play the piano or sing in the choir. I might could cut a rug but I didn’t exactly see that happening anytime soon. Ha! And I’m really actually kidding anyways. I’m no dancer. Although I do dance……… when nobody’s looking. Anyways, back to the point….
For years I faked singing alto in our church’s youth choir. I wasn’t even sure what “alto” meant but evidently I was one. See, I had to fake it because I was in love with a certain someone who was a pastor’s son and he was going to Bible college to get trained so he could be a pastor and everyone in their right mind knows that you can’t be a pastor’s wife unless you sing and play the piano. So I had to at least pretend like I could sing. And so I did.
That certain someone who is now my husband, Randy, never really had a clue about this until we were talking about marriage. I told him everything about not singing, playing the piano – all of it. I was sort of clinched up tight and had my eyes closed ready for the, “See ya later sistah! Nice knowin’ ya but I gotta have a woman with a set of mighty fine vocals in order to be in ministry.” But that didn’t happen. He was so okay with it. We talked it through and it was such a satisfying and sweet conversation. He just wanted me to be me. Awwww….that is so stinkin’ sweet! I’m about to get all mushy here. Pull yourself together, Melody.
Okay, I’m back.
Anyways……all this singing talk to say this: I still don’t sing in the choir or play the piano. Only once, in second grade, did I ever sing a solo and I’m pretty sure the entire thing was off key. And I’ve never considered having to sing in public for any reason and just the thought of having to sing in public has the potential of throwing this pastor’s wife into a holy schmoly panic attack.
And yet, this very thing happened to me on December 3rd!
My all time most embarrassing moment to date. I was called on to sing in front of 300 people. Into the live microphone. Eleven times over.
You can’t even imagine the fear struck pain I was in walking up on stage. I looked over at Randy and said, “This is my worst nightmare.” Randy shook his head in full awareness of my pain. Mitchell quickly assured me it was no nightmare and that I had to get up there. Sophie was cheering me on and I was planning my funeral because I knew I was about to die right there in front of all our church peoples. Randy ended up getting called on as well for “nine ladies dancing” and so we both made fools of ourselves, together. How romantic.
So here it is: the height and depth, or death, of my vocal career. It was the intermission of a concert at our church. Twelve people were called do the Twelve days of Christmas and I was “two turtle doves” so I got to sing it twelve times into the mic!!!! Awwww……I’m dying all over again just thinking about it. I’m on the end in the black and sing “two turtle doves” and Randy is in a black shirt on the other end.
(okay, so I can’t insert the video for some reason. If you’re dying to see my lack of musical abilities you can look it up on you tube: downeast boys 12 days of Christmas Community Baptist)
My husband called me at home a few days after this happened and said, “Get ready for your phone to ring. Someone put it up on Youtube and classes at the school are watching it.” And so the four of us sat down to watch this video together for the first time. We laughed so hard as a family. We had to watch several times because we were laughing and couldn’t hear it all. So looking back on it…….it really was funny and fun. But I wish to never ever ever do it again.
Have you ever been called on to do something embarrassing in front of people? Go ahead….dig it up from the depths of your past…..it will be therapeutic to share.
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